The Sue That Took A Tumble
by Bleb Hurp de flurb
Summary: A Mary-Sue parody, not one-shot, rated T for violent language and slight violence.  A Mary-Sue tries to "sleep with Sebby," but what will happen? Crack.
1. That MarySue, Visiting

Hello just so that you know this is a parody. Rated T just in Case. This is not a Lemon or One-Shot, Also if you're character is this than please do not leave hate comments.

It was winter... but not just any winter, a winter were Ciel would meet someone. Ciel sat in his study, doing... stuff that people do in their studies, when there was a knock at the door, but not just any door, their front door!

"Sebastian get the door." and Sebastian did, Sebastian completed this action in slow-motion. He eventually reached the door after an amount of time. When he opened the door he saw a girl with Red hair similar to Mey-Rin's only it was down. She had a black choker with a dimond on it which sparkled in the daylight, similar to Edweird (the twilight vampire). She was so skinny it looked like she would break if she took another step. Her feet were so small it was surprising she could walk. She had huge gravity defying EEEEE Breasts and greenish-purplish eyes. She had flawless skin like a porcelain doll. She had a face that would make any guy in a Mary-Sue Fanfiction get a boner, but this isn't a Mary-Sue, so no boner for Sebastian. To be honest, he felt like puking at the sight of her, she looked toooo... trying too hard to look perfect.

"I hear you have a job openin-" She said in a voice too high pitched it sounded a man and so sweet it Sebastian felt and instant wave of diabetes, but of course, Sebastian and anyone in Kuroshituji cannot get diabetes, because they're awesome.

"No job opening." Sebastian said in a mean tone because Mary-Sues piss him off.

"Oh then, Gomenasai for troubling you, I'm coming in to apologize to your master."

"Don't come in," But of course because she was a Mary-Sue she HAAAD to come in and did.

"This house is super Kawaii, DAESU~!" She said walking through his house, all weeaboo-ish and such.

"How did you get in here?" Sebastian asked at the shock she got past him somehow.

"NAY? You let me in Sebas-chin." She strolled to the study, "Is this your BORCHIN or whatever the Japanese name for little or young master is?"

"Bocchan," Sebastian corrected.

"Sebastian who is this lady and why is she in my study?" Ciel asked.

"He's so KAWAII." The Mary-Sue said, she bowed her head to Ciel and said, "My name is Lavender Jane Rose Lillian Christal Crimson Ivy C'sandera Beh-kae Lilandra Li-sah Fire-Water-Earth-Air Kiazaru gonn-marr Serissa Shion Mion Cicada Keiichi Mary Lind Sue Tailor Satoko Turner Rika Beatrice Batter Butterfly Decaffeinated Coffee Webcam 2pm in the morning Fin-rin-Bar Shitsuji-death Shampoo Dream Vicky Beaster Spi-gog Yana Toboso."

"I can't tell if it's so unoriginal or original." Ciel stated.

"I'm here to be your maid." She raised her head.

"I don't have any openings..." Ciel said.

"To be honest the story in a nutshell is it's supposed to be that I come here to be your maid and then have sex with Sebby." She said honestly. Ciel froze.

"No," Ciel said. She raised her hand to slap him,

"I'm going to slap you now!" But was stopped by Sebastian.

"No, you have to leave." He then kicked her out, literately, he kicked her 'til she left. She then decided to hit on Ciel. But this was a time when Elizabeth and Alois were coming to the Phantomhive manor with Grell. But she did not know this.

"Ciel, LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!" Lizzy yelled.

"Helllooooooo." Alois said when he walked in.

"OMG SEBAS-CHAN THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!" Grell, Lizzy and Alois paused at the site of the Mary-Sue character in Ciel's presence.

"What the Fuck!" Alois asked himself

"NOOO! THIS SHITTY MARY-SUE IS GOING TO TRY TO TAKE MY SEBAS-CHAN!" Grell screamed.

"Ciel!" They then ran up to Ciel's study and Lizzy grabbed the Sue's hair, Grell pushed her to the ground, kicked her face and then held her feet down. Grell and Lizzy picked up the Sue-like character and Alois punched her stomache

multiple times. They then proceeded to take turns kicking her. Grell grabbed a toaster, Lizzy made a bath of water, and Alois shoved her into the bath.

"WHAT ARE YOU-" Grell then dropped the toaster into the bath and the rest... you can tell what happened.

If you can't she got electrocuted and died.

A/N: This isn't a one shot I'm making another chapter and see what will happen to Lavender Jane Rose Lillian Christal Crimson Ivy C'sandera Beh-kae Lilandra Li-sah Fire-Water-Earth-Air Kiazaru gonn-marr Serissa Shion Mion Cicada Keiichi Mary Lind Sue Tailor Satoko Turner Rika Beatrice Batter Butterfly Decaffeinated Coffee Webcam 2pm in the morning Fin-rin-Bar Shitsuji-death Shampoo Dream Vicky Beaster Spi-gog Yana Toboso.

Also I do not own Any of the criteria in this fanfiction, I don't even own the OC's name I just compiled a bunch of Mary-Sue fanfiction names and names of other anime characters and combonations of anime character names and random things i was thinking about.


	2. That MarySue, Out shining

Before Note: Seeing that this is a Mary-Sue Fanfiction Parody she didn't get electrocuted and die... well... she did

but... THIS IS A MARY-SUE SO IT DOESN'T HAVE TO MAKE SENCE! Whatever after the electrocution she got kicked out,

pouted and now some how she's their maid. Also in this chapter she's a demon. Sorry but this chapter is kind of

long.

This is what follows...

Lavender Jane was doing the job of a maid perfectly. She swept all the floors without a spot of dirt, yet still with the

grace of butterfly. Then went to clean the garden, not a leaf was on the floor. She took away all the bruised petals

of roses and unsaveable roses were cut without hesitation. Everything was perfect. From the house's condition to

the garden. Fin*nian and Mey-rin were mad at the sight she did their jobs better than them. Finally it was time for

her to cook the meal. For dinner she went to cook some Smoked Salmon with Caviar with a side of Parsley/Parmesan

Mushrooms. For a beverage she made some Earl Grey tea. Bardroy was enraged at the sight of her perfect cooking.

She set the table CLAUDE FAUSTUS STYLE, the most unnecessary way to set up a table. She jumped up in the air

throwing a table in the air along with herself and everything on the table. She threw plates and cups along with

chairs and silver wear onto the table. Then landing on both her feet. She looked up and a bow fell perfectly into her

hair. Sebastian was very upset, and you don't want to upset Sebby, oh no. She brought the meal out to Ciel.

Presenting it with grace.

"Today's meal shall be Smoked Salmon with Caviar. For a side you will be eating Parsley/Parmesan Mushrooms. For

your tea you will be drinking Earl Grey." She said as she presented the meal.

"Earl Grey?" Ciel asked.

"Don't worry, it was harmless for him." Lavender Jane took the bad pun Sebastian was supposed to make.

Sebastian clenched his hand so tightly that it began to bleed, a lot.

"Sebastian are you okay..." Bardroy asked timidly. Sebastian clenched tighter, "Seba-"

"I'm fine..." Sebastian had his demon-y shadow behind him, startling Bardroy. Bardroy walked away slowly.

Finnian and Mey-rin were fixing up their young master's room.

"Stupid little... CUN-taminated water..." Finnian struggled not to curse.

"Thinking she can take OUR job, being so Claude Faustus, who does she think she is?" Mey-rin said with anger.

"...a douche..." Finnian answered as he folded their young master's clothing.

"She's more full of shit than Opra's tampons." *OPRA GOT BURNED BY MEY-RIN! No offence Opra.* Mey-rin said

making Ciel's bed.

"It looks like a bunch of red pubic hair was glued onto her head." Finnian said as he dusted Ciel's pictures.

"Stupid Bitch." Mey-rin said in an angry tone as she swept the floor.

"I can't believe how coooool she thinks she is." Finnian grabbed Ciel's cane. *CRACK!* Went Ciel's cane. Finnian had

broken his young master's cane.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The both of them screamed in horror.

"You broke the young master's cane!" Mey-rin yelled. They screamed more and more.

While this was happening...

Ciel sat finishing his dinner, he heard a loud scream. Then Finnian and Mey-rin ran to Ciel crying.

"Sorry young master!" The two repeated as they held out the broken cane. Ciel sighed.

"Another broken cane... What ever, Sebastian let's go." Ciel ordered.

Sebastian got on one knee and said "Yes my- urhgn!" Sebastiand tried to say.

"Sebastian can't go with you because his toe is broken, let me." Lavender Jane said as she Sebby's poor toe with

her heel.

"YOU BITCH!" Sebastian yelled as he held his toe.

"Let's let him rest." She suggested.

"AAAAAAAAAH!" Sebastian groaned.

"Very well, I guess you can go with me." Ciel said, "Sebastian, get some rest."

"Be-" Sebastian said meakly.

"That's an order." Ciel finish. Sebastian whined *poor Sebby* to his room.

When Ciel left to get his cane with Lavender Jane, the servants and Sebastian met up.

"I think we should kill her!" Finnian suggested.

"YEAH MURDER THE BITCH!" Mey-rin agreed.

"I think we should just get her fired..." Bardroy suggested.

"BURN THE BITCH DOOOOOWN!" Sebastian yelled as he denied Bard's idea.

"Yeah!" The three screamed.

"Now come on let's be-" Bardroy said rationally but was interrupted by Finnian.

"She said your hair looked stupid and your food tasted like deep fried raccoon asshole." Finnian said honestly.

"..." Bard paused, "...What did she say..." Bardroy asked. Bard thought for a second before speaking. "BURN, THE

BITCH DOOOOOOWN!" They all cheered at Bards joining of their motion.

As those four had their little... party... Ciel went out to the town with Lavender Jane.

They walked into a store. Lavender Jane opened the door for Ciel. As they walked into the store Ciel bought a cane.

But their walk turned out to be for a couple of hours. It had turned dark. Minutes later they got home.

"Borchin we should go to bed." Lavender Jane stated.

"Firstly it's Bocchan. Secondly I don't care." Ciel went to his room and dressed himself (cuz he's a BIG BOY!). Then

Ciel went into his bed. Lavender Jane then went into his room and tried to seduce him. I won't exsplain it in detail or

I'll immediatly kill off this Mary-Sue and not bring her back to life...

Ever...

"EWWWWWW! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" Ciel screamed, pushing Lavender Jane away.

"But this is the part were I have sex with you..." Lavender Jane said with dissapointment.

"WHY WOULD I HAVE SEX WITH YOU! YOU LOOK LIKE SOMEONE HIT YOU IN THE FACE WITH A BASEBALL BAT AND

THEN RAN OVER YOUR FACE WITH A CAR!" Ciel screamed.

"I do NOT look like Justin Beiber!" *Beibern! No offence to his fans... offence to his face...* The Sue screamed in

horror that Ciel would go that far. Then, out of nowhere, the servants and Sebastian came screaming with a crucifix.

"BURN THE BIIIIIIIIIITCH!" They screamed. They tied her up onto it and the servants beat her face with glass

bottles. Sebastian kicked her in the gut then swung his foot up and broke her jaw.

"Urf.. merg... eeeeeeeeeh..." Lavender couldn't speak no matter how hard she tried. Finnian grabbed a jug of

gasoline and poured it all over the Sue and Crucifix.

"Burn the bitch... burn the bitch... burn the bitch..." Mey-rin, Sebastian and Finnian repeated. Bardroy then took his lit

cigarette and threw it on a mini cross, the cross light on fire quickly. Then, Bardroy threw the cross on Lavender.

"AAAAAH!" The Sue screamed.

"Haha, she's burning faster than BP is loosing credibility." *BP GOT BUUURNED* Bardroy chuckled. They threw the

dead carcus in a river or something and left. That's all.

A/N: If you didn't notice she's a demon, also I didn't make the BP joke that was made by Jacksfilms on youtube. This

isn't advertisment I just thought the joke was super duper funny and I had to use it. You can see the video here:  
>.comwatch?v=Umf4itG1Cc4 .

Now that we're done with that unpleasant-ness if you have any questions leave them in the reveiws or message me

or whatever way you have, it'll get to me. Also I'm in a summer camp currently so it may take me a while to update

on chapters but the next chapter will be done and published in the next week or so. Also I DID NOT mean to offend

any one with the burns I made on Opera and Justin Beiber please do not get offended. Also if you're asking, "DUDE

THAT SO OFFENSIVE! WHY DID SHE USE A CRUCIFIX!" that was cause I thought it would be perfect for killing Mary-

Sues with :).


	3. That MarySue, Shinigami

Before note: BWHAHAHA! It is me once more! I think NOT! In this chapter she's a Shinigami, working for WILLIAM!

Also, I havn't really been able to update because I dance and I'm poor so I need to work summer camps. Hope you

enjoy this!

I was raining and Grell was pouting, not only did he have to work over time but he had to show the new girl around

with the Undertaker and Ronald (KNOX!).

"So..." Grell tried to start a conversation but epically failed thinking about what an eye sore this girl was. She had

pretty much perfect features but put together it was like EWWWWW. Grell looked Ronald who was scratching the

back of his neck and looking at the floor, the same boat Grell was in.

"Soooo... what case are we working?" Ronald asked breaking the silence.

"I don't know some guy-" Grell tried to finish his sentence but was rudly inturupted.

"IS HE ATTRACTIVE!" The sue screamed.

"Does it matter?" The Undertaker asked.

"Well... he is balding and has grey hair, has diabetes, hepatitis of ALL sorts, he's overweight, has MAN BOOBS, has

short hair but tries to put it in a pony tail which is PATHETIC! and does absolutly nothing to contribute to society."

(That's the exact description of my dad :( ) Grell showed her with his words he was NOT attractive.

"Ohhh..." The sue replied looking down at the floor.

Ronald cringed, "ew..."

"I think we should let him die." Grell concluded.

"We should see his life." The Undertaker said.

"Let's GOOOOOO!" The sue said all preppy like. They all stared at her, but then went to see the guys personal life.

They saw that the place smelled like... shit, and looked like it too. They decided immediatly that the guy would die it,

smelled horrible. (That's what my "dad's" house smells like...)

Lavender Jane walked up to Will,

"I WANNA HAVE LAVENWILL BABIES!" Will was then puzzled cause firstly, the seme goes first, secondly

"…ewwwwwwwwwwwww..." Will spoke out loud.

"JERK!" Lavender Jane stormed out. 'How could he be so mean and do that! I'm so attractive though! He's just a big

mean jerk! He's probably- no he IS just jealous of my hot attractive figure!' Lavender Jane thought to herself. She

then ran into Ronald, 'NOW IS MY CHANCE!' She thought, but Ronald left because she was weird. He bumped into

her and then a piece of paper fell out of her pocket. She didn't notice, but Grell did.

YES, GRELL WAS STALKING RONALD!

Grell walked up to the piece of paper labled, "Shag List." Grell picked it up and read it out loud.

"Anne Rice?" He asked himself, "Shit wrong side!" He turned the paper around,

"1. Ciel Phantomhive.

2. Sebastian Michaelis

3. Alois Trancy

4. The Undertaker

5. Claude Faustus

6. Thompson

7. Timber

8. Canteburry

9. William T. Spears

10. Pluto

11. Drocell Keinz

12. Ronald Knox

13. Lau

14. Joker

15. Grell Sutcliffe

16. Agni

17. Angela/Ash

18. Fred Aberline..." Grell stopped, "Wait... I'M ON THAT LIST!" He then threw the paper on the ground,

"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! WAIT!" He checked the list again, "SEBAS-CHAN IS ON THIS

LIST!" Grell ripped the paper in two and ran to the Mary-Sue. He proceded to scream in her face. He then pulled her

long red hair and threw her to the floor. He kicked her until she bled, then, KICKED 'ER SOME MORE! He then beat

her with the back of his chain saw and got it very... very bloody. He kicked her more and then yelled,

"If you DARE touch my Sebas-chan then I will finish you!" He left her in a mess but in a minute or two she was over

it.

The group of Shinigamis went to the Undertaker's parlor, thingy, WHATEVER! The place were he has dead peoples.

They went to drink tea but the Sue had other plans... if you get what I'm saying... She was gonna **attempt **to have

sex with one of these Shinigami people. She walked up to the Undertaker and jumped up to land on him. The

Undertaker grabbed a vause and threw it at her head. She then went unconcious. The undertaker then stomped her

unconcious body and threw it up against a wall. He then went to his roof, dragging her by her hair and then threw

her off the top of the building. She died.

A/N: HERE YA GO! ANOTHER CHAPTER! Hope ya enjoyed it! More chapters coming soon, Sorry this took so long.


	4. That MarySue, Kitty

Before Note: In this one she's a CAT... a cat witH BIG BREASTS! Also in this one she's Lavender Jane Rose-Meow.

Lavender Jane Rose-Meow sat in a little kitty bed, with her kitty ears. But they were an abnormal florescent pink-ish-

red. She walked up to Sebastian. The balls of her little kitty hands

"Wait weren't you just our maid?" Sebastian asked.

"No, I'm a cat! Me-OW I just stepped on a tac." Lavender Jane Rose-Meow said.

"That was the lamest pun ever." Sebastian replied.

"MY PUN IS NOT DISABLED!" She threw another bad pun right at him.

"That pun was so bad I think it gave me cancer... bad pun cancer... thanks..."

"FEEEED MEEEE..." She howled.

"No..." Sebastian said bluntly.

"Cruuuuuuuelty... aaaaaanimaaaal aaaaaabuuuuuuuuuuuse..." she howled more and more.

"Tooooooooooo baaaaaad." Sebastian then walked away. Lavender Jane Rose-Meow rolled around and wined until

Sebby would give her food. So Sebby did, for once in his awesomly sexy demon life he had never wanted to strangle

a cat... ever... but now... was DIFFERENT!

So Sebastian left to do... Stuff that Sebby does... you know... HE WENT TO BUY SHOES! (Hooker boots to be exact)

And Lavender Jane Rose-Meow went to go see Pluto...

"MEROW!" Lavender Jane Rose-Meow miss said.

"You miss said that..." Pluto growled.

"Sorry, ME-OW!" She meowed. Pluto frowned

"Please, STOP TALKING!" Pluto the strutted away fabulously. Lavender Jane Rose-Meow pouted and wined her

unattractive wine some more. Until Finnian got sick of it and started to kick her... a lot.

"Me-OUCH!" Lavender Jane Rose-Meow screamed.

"NOT! FUNNYYYYY!" Finnian screamed. Then Mey-rin came to join in on the beating. So they just kicked her... for like

an hour or two, maybe three IDK.

"I'm bored." Finnian said.

"LET'S USE FIRE!" Bardroy popped into the room, with a flame thrower.

"NOOOOOOOO!" The Sue screamed. They then lit her on fire and she burned for a couple of minutes. But SURVIVED!

She took a shower and it was all better.

She then walked up to Pluto once more... but this time... he was sleeeeeeeping. Lavender Jane Rose-Meow watched

Pluto as he slept in aw. Aparently he snored. She then tried to touch his hair but his reflexes kicked in and he bit her

finger off. The Sue screamed in horror. Pluto then woke up and smashed her face into the floor. But it was out of fear

because if someone wakes you up and they're screaming what do you do? You shut them up. Lavender Jane Rose-

Meow died of brain hemerage and bleeding out.

R.I.P.

Lavender Jane Rose Lillian Christal Crimson Ivy C'sandera Beh-kae Lilandra Li-sah Fire-Water-Earth-Air Kiazaru gonn-

marr Serissa Shion Mion Cicada Keiichi Mary Lind Sue Tailor Satoko Turner Rika Beatrice Batter Butterfly Decaffeinated

Coffee Webcam 2pm in the morning Fin-rin-Bar Shitsuji-death Shampoo Dream Vicky Beaster Spi-gog Yana Toboso...

A/N: BUT THAT'S NOT THE END! I shall post more chapters to come! Hope you've enjoyed this chapter. This one was

a shorter one but I really hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks for reading!


	5. That MarySue, Sister

Before note: Hi I'm back! Well, In this chapter she is Ciel's long lost sister... yeah... ENJOY!

Lavender Jane Rose Lillian walked up to the Phantomhive estate, with great joy. GREAT JOY. She knocked on

the door. "Kock Knock knock knock!" She said pounding on the door. "What are you doing?" Sebastian asked

opening the door.

"I'm KNOX-ing." She said throwing another... terrible pun right at him. But this one didn't make sense.

"First of all I think I'm deaf, Secondly... Go away... why are you even here?" Sebastian asked.

"I'm here to speak with my long lost brother Ciel." She said.

"How does that make any sense you don't even have Phantomhive in your name?" Sebby asked himself.

"Now it does." Lavender Jane Rose Lillian Phantomhive said.

"What?" Lavender Jane Rose Lillian Phantomhive let herself right into the estate. Ciel was drinking tea. She ran

to him.

"Borchin!" She yelped.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE HIS SISTER!" Sebastian yelled.

"He's still my young BORCHIN."

"REDUNDANCY!" Ciel screamed. Ciel then thought this girl is stupid so she could do anything for him,

*ANYTHING!*

"Soooo... I have one... very important thing for you to do for me. Will you do it?" Ciel asked.

"YES! What is it." The Sue hoped it was something important to her.

"I need you to give this letter to the Trancy estate." He held a letter out to her. Lavender Jane Rose Lillian

Phantomhive's dreams were crushed in 11 words.

"O-kay..." She grabbed the letter and left as soon as she could, partially crying. 

When she arrived at the Trancy estate she saw Claude opening the door.

"DOUCHE BAG!" Lavender Jane Rose Lillian Phantomhive yelled to Claude. She may have been a Mary-Sue,

but anyone can tell, Claude, is a Douche. (Sorry Claude fans!)

"You... You Shut up!" Claude tried to scrounge up a come-back but epically failed. Lavender Jane Rose Lillian

Phantomhive walked up to Alois.

"Um... What do you want?" Alois asked.

"LETTER!" The Sue said as she smashed the letter up against his shoulder... very roughly.

"OW-" Alois tried to say but was interupted by his phone, (YES ALOIS HAS CELL PHONE!) Alois answered his

phone.

"Okay Calm- OH SHIT NOT AGAIN! TIMBER CALM DOWN! JESUS HOW IN THE WORLD IS THAT EVEN

CLOSE TO SEXY- DAMMIT CANTERBURY!" Alois yelled, "Okay, I'll be right there, just cover it up with a

blanket or something until I get there." Alois hung the phone up and gave the Sue the letter back, "I gotta go,

just hold onto that until I get back... GOD DAMMIT CANTEBURY!" Alois walked away with Claude and in

minutes was OUTTA SIIIGHT!

Lavender Jane Rose Lillian Phantomhive looked at her list once more and sighed.

"Maybe next time... so do I just stay here or go back to Ciel." She thought on the question for a while. She

looked at her list once more, She remembered Alois saying two names, Timber and Cantebury. She looked on

her list,

"Timber, Canteburry, Thompson..." She read. 'Prehaps I should go to where ever that blonde kid Alo-whats-his

-ma-fave.' She then went to follow Claude's *Douche* footsteps.

She followed them to a strip club. 'What could they be doing here?' She asked herself and walked in. When

she got in she found Cantebury crying on the floor next to a dead Stripper, Timber screaming about how it

wasn't his fault and Thompson just standing in a corner... watching.

"WHY WOULD YOU KILL THIS HOOKER!" Alois screamed.

"It's a stripper to be correct." Thompson said quietly.

"CANTEBURY WHY!" Alois screamed once more.

"I DIDN'T MEAN TOOOOOO!" Cantebury cried on the floor. Lavender Jane Rose Lillian Phantomhive would

had seen more if it weren't for the manger pulling her aside. She looked so much like a stripper the manager

thought she was one of his "SHOW GURLZ!"

"What are you doing not working?" The manager said.

"But I'm no-" The Sue tried to say but the manager put her to the group that contained the dead stripper.

Cantebury looked at her as she starred in horror then, Cantebury slapped her in the face with a pocket knife

and she died.

"Where did you get that knife?" Alois yelled.

"He found it in her pocket." Timber said paritially calmly. Cantebury then proceded to start crying. (The End of

the Chapter :D)| 

A/N: Thank you for reading. If you Don't know who Cantebury, Timber and Thompson look them up on

kuroshitsuji wiki :D.

NEXT TIME: BARD, FINNIAN AND MEY-RIN GO ON A KILLING RAMPAGE! AND CIEL TAKES THE HEAT!

Ciel: I'm so sorry!

HOW MANY WEASALS WILL HE EAT TO PROVE HIS INNOCENCE!

NEXT TIME ON... KUROSHITSUJI!

Yes I know, Dr. Tran quote. Thanks for reading, BY BY!


	6. That MarySue, Circus

A/N: In this one she's a talented knife-throwing, lion taming, fire eating, tight wire walking, Half snake, Doctor,

Trapeze Artist, Maid/Personal Assistant, snake charming, demon MC.

It was winter... but not just any winter... you what cross that out it was just winter, at the Noah's Ark Circus. They

were all eating Breakfast in their tent for eating lunch. It was the whole crew, Joker, Dagger, Beast, Snake, Doll,

Peter, Wendy, Jumbo and Doctor. When suddenly, a girl walked in with Baron Kelvin. Well, Baron didn't _walk _in,

they came in. Well, SCRIBBLE _THAT _OUT THEY'RE IN THE TENT NOW!

"Alright then, I have some promotions, demotions, hirements and firements." Baron said.

"I'm not even sure if firements is a word-" Jumbo tried to say.

"Jumbo ya fired." Baron interupted.

"NOOO! YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM FROM ME!" Peter yelled.

"Peter shut cher fat little salty mouth or else ya fired too." Peter then stayed quiet as Jumbo left.

Beast stood up and said, "Who are you to fire us?"

"First of all I'm ya boss, Secondly you shouldn't be questioning me, what ya should be doing is taking ya top off

and getting killed by Great Ki near." Baron stated, "Now sit down." Beast followed his order, except the part about

getting killed by great Ki near.

"Now here's this new girl, her name is-" Baron started but was interrupted by our Sue who has a bad habit of  
>interupting people.<p>

"Lavender Jane Rose Lillian Christal Crimson." She said quickly

"I was gonna say that but ya know what? Fuck it." he whispered to himself.

"What can she do?" Joker asked.

"Well she can-" Baron tried to say but once again was interupted.

"I can throw knifes, tame lions, eat fire, walk on a tight wire, I can charm snakes, trapeze, I'm a doctor, I'm a

Personal Assistant and I'm a wonderful MC." She finished off.

"What are her flaws?" Beast slapped her hands on the table and stood up.

"WELL HAS A REALLY BAD HABIT OF INTERU-" Baron yelled in fury but was once again interupted.

"No flaws."

"Huh," Baron sighed, "Your hired."

"Oh thank you!" She screamed with joy.

"Beast, Peter, Doll" Baron said "Your Fired."

"NO! YOU CAN'T FIRE BIG SIS!" Dagger cried. There was a long silence

"Dagga, ya useless." Beast stated.

"Now go away." Baron said as Beast, Peter and Doll walked away sadly. "Now, Joker, show Lavender Jane Rose

Lillian Christal Crimson to her sleeping place."

'YES! I DIDN'T EXSEPT THIS TO HAPPEN SO SOON! OR SO EASILY!' Lavender Jane Rose Lillian Christal

Crimson thought.

"Well Lavender Jane... Christal... We'll call ya plant!" Joker said PEACHILY (very peachy.)! Joker than walked her

to a tent.

"This is... nice..." Plant said.

"Well this was the tent me and Beast shared but... I guess you get it now!" Joker said in his usual happy tone.

'IF THERE IS A GOD HE TOTALLY FAVORS ME! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!' Plant thought. She

then puckered up but Joker wasn't looking at her, he was un-packing her things. 'Next time...' Plant thought, 'After

all we share a tent!' She smiled and skipped to help him.

When they finished unpacking her things (Of course she doesn't have that much because she's a MARY-SUE!),

Plant was too tired to complete her mission, so she instantly plopped down on her bed and fell asleep. While

sleeping she looked very demented. So Joker just left and didn't disturb her "peaceful" slumber. When Joker left

the tent he thanked god that she didn't eat him because she was far too skinny. So he left in a hurry, while

walking away… from the tent… to get some peace and quiet away from Plant snoring in her sleep, he saw Beast,

crying. But because Joker is too cool… he ignored her.

In the morning, Plant woke up. She yawned, then Joker walked in, "RISE N' SHINE!" Joker yelled, because he's

just awesome like that.

"Helloo…" Plant then fell asleep but woke up from a slap in the face from Joker.

"Time ta eat!" Joker then pulled her out of the bed and drug her to the place where they eat food.

"Yummy! I'm starving." Plant said as she sat down to eat. Dagger walked to her.

"I made this one, specially, for you." Dagger then put a plate of bacon in front of her.

"Ummmm… I'm a peskatarian… I don't eat meat… except fish…" Plant pushed the plate away and went to get

herself a salad.

"DAMMIT!" Dagger said.

"I'll eat it." Joker said.

"No, you don't want this, I poisoned it." Dagger said, throwing the bacon away.

"Daaaaageeeer… why do you want to kill her?" Joker asked.

"SHE GOT BIG SIS FIRED!" Dagger yelled.

"Pffft. Who gives a crap about Beast, everyone hates her anyway." Dagger stood in shock.

"WERE'RE OUT OF SALAD!" Plant yelled, "Or lettuce… whatever I'm not eating plain ol' celery!"

"Who puts celery on a salad?" Joker asked. There was a long awkward silence.

"I dooo…" Snake said, "A lot of people do…" There then was an awkward pause, until Snake broke the ice.

"Well, we should start getting ready for the performance." Snake stated. "Ya know, setting up the tent and getting

into costume. We won't have time to rehears."

"But I don't know the rutine!" Plant screamed

"You'll catch on." Snake said as the whole crew left the tent.

Then they set up and the show twas ready to begin.

"Come one and Come all! To the Amazing Noah's Ark Circus!" Joker repeated until the tent was full of people,

except, there was one spot open, but that doesn't matter.

"First we have the amazing lion tamer." Joker said moving out of the way for Plant.

"But I don't know the routine!" Plant yelled.

"JUST TAME THE FUCKING LION!" Snake yelled. Plant then beat the lion TO DEATH with a BROKEN LAWN

CHAIR, (Too many Dr. Tran quotes D: ) The crowd gasped, but it didn't affect their judgment of her because

SHE'S A SUE!

"Kay, that was… technical difficulties!" Joker smiled and ran away preparing them for their next act.

"Kay, next time, TRY not to kill our lions." Joker snapped.

"I'm sorry; he was coming right for me." Plant said in her defense.

"That doesn't matter, just; it's time for Snake to go on." Joker then walked out into to see the crowd and said,

"Sorry 'bout that, now's here's out snake charmer!" Joker said as Snake came out and did his snake charming

thingy, BUT THEN! Plant came in and showed him up and did the snake charming BETTER THAN HIM! And then

Snake just left but Plant was still doing better than him so he got sad :(, but then he ate some cake and it was all

better.

"Kay, THIS TIME, try not to show up the main performer, kay?" Joker asked.

"Ooookaaaay, sooooorryyyy." Plant said.

"Whatever, you're up next for trapeze, 'cause Peter got fired."

"PETER WAS USLESS NOW YOU GUYS GO OUT THERE AND SHOW THEM THAT!" Baron yelled so Plant

and Wendy walked out there without an introduction.

"I could introduce you or you could just ignore me, whatever floats your boat." Joker said with displeasure. So

Plant just hopped on one of the two traps and got into a catcher's hang, then, she went into a cowboy's strattle

and then went into a catcher hang only she went higher, and she repeated this process getting higher and higher

and higher until she was at were the ropes began, then, she let go, it was unwinding until she was back into that

first cowboy's strattle. Then let go of the ropes to go into a cowboy's drop then back into her original catcher's

hang. Wendy then went into a catcher hang on the other trapeze and swung to Plant, grabbing Plant's hands and

let go so she was swinging with Plant by them holding hands. After 3 times going back and forth Wendy let go of

one hand and they held that for a while. Then Wendy climbed up and they did boat. Then Wendy climbed down

and Plant did a strattle on the ropes and Wendy did a strattle on the bar, then they came off.

"Kay! That was probably the best so far! Now, don't show up your partner, kay?" Joker said with a temper but

keeping his cool because Joker's just awesome like that.

"Next we have the tight wire walker! I can introduce you or you can just-" Joker tried to say but Plant just walked

on stage, "you can ignore me….." Joker walked away to get a sammich.

Plant hopped onto the tight wire, "JOKER! JOKER! LOOK JOKER! JOKER!"

"WHAT!" Joker snapped.

"No hands!" Plant said. Joker panted angrily until for a moment he stopped and just laughed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Plant said as she fell without a safety net,

apparently, she slipped on a banana peel.

SPLAT! She died of blunt force trama to her whole body and snapping her neck.

R.I.P.  
>Mr. Fuzzle Wuzzle kins, The Lion.<br>2011 – 2011

A/N: THE LONGEST CHAPTER I'VE EVER WRITTEN!  
>Sorry about the Trapeze stuff I was nerding out because I take trapeze.<br>R&R!


	7. That MarySue, Hyphen

A/N: I'm SOOOOO Sorry this has taken me so long. I've been busy D:

Ciel sat in his study, drinking his tea.

"Do you need anything else young master?" Sebastian said all sexy like, but then again, everything Sebastian says is sexy like.

"Thank god we have some peace and quiet." Ciel said sipping his tea, "By the way, what happened to the Jane Lavender girl?"

"I beleive depression drove her to throw herself off a building, a shame really." Sebastian said trying to keep a straight face.

"Not really." Ciel said as he sipped some tea, then they broke out into laughter.

"You really could tell the carcasm in my voice." Sebastian said.

"Whatever we gotta go to the **doctors.**" Ceil said.

* * *

><p>AND SO THEY DID!<p>

* * *

><p>"Hi I'm your doctor, Miss Devin Queen." The doctor said.<p>

"BOOOOOOOORIIIIIING!" Sebastian said as him and Ciel strolled out of the building.

"Okay we have things to do, we can go to the **MARKET**." Sebastian said.

"Well first do we have any **MAIL**?" Ciel asked.

"HELLZ YEAH!" Sebastian said, "It's from the **QUEEN**. She wants you to meet her, she has an important mission for you."

"WELL THEN LET'S GO!" Ciel yelled.

* * *

><p>They're in a carriage<p>

"So, she jumped off a building, right?" Ciel asked.

"Who?" Sebastian asked, "Oh, you mean the cat-maid-shinigami-demon-person. Why do you still care about that? Do you miss heeeeer?" Sebastian nudged Ciel.

"NO! WHY WOULD I!" Ciel screamed.

"Good, because everyone knows you're mine." Sebastian stated with the possesive sense that he usually has whenever he talks about Ciel.

"Whatever, can we talk about something else?" Ciel asked.

"**No...**" Sebastian said sternly, "...soooo... Why do you miss her?" Sebastian asked.

"I DON'T!" Ciel yelled.

"If by 'Don't' you mean 'totally do,' then you can just honestly tell me why." Sebastian said.

"Wha-?" Ciel questioned but was interupted by Sebastian.

"Was it her hair?" He asked.

"Oh, look! WE'RE HERE!" Ciel yelled, despretly trying to change the conversation. Ciel ran out of the carriage in a hurry.

"It was her hair." Sebastian said walking out calmly.

* * *

><p>Ciel walking into the room, Sebastian following behind him. Ciel saw the back of the queens head parcially covered by a black viel, Ash Landers was standing next to her. Ash whispered to the Queen as she whispered back. She turned around and it was Lavender Jane.<p>

"MISS ME!" She yelled flailing her arms around.

"How the-" Ciel asked.

"He missed you." Sebastian said in a truthful way even though Sebastian **KNEW**he was lying through his teeth.

"HOW COULD HE FORGET ABOUT ALL **THIS**!" She exclaimed pointing to herself, "YOUR MISSION: HAVE SEX WITH ME!"

"No." Ciel said walking out of the building.

"Young master we've come all this way, and you've missed her sooo. You can **atleast**give her a hug." Sebastian said with a smirk.

"YAY!" Lavender Jane-Victoria said.

"..." Ciel said as he walked to the door.

"WAIT!" Lavender Jane-Victoria screamed, "If you don't I'll kill you."

"Um... let me think about it. No and... no." Ciel said as he walked out.

"DAMMIT!" Lavender Jane-Victoria yelled as she thre her veil to the ground.

"Now we must burn down all of London." Ash stated positivily off of topic. There was an odd scilence.

"...You crazy bastard..." She said as she left.

* * *

><p>"Whatever let's go do some stuff, we have an hour to kill." Ciel said.<p>

"I know! Let's buy viggitables!" Sebastian said.

At the market Ciel looked around, he wasn't hungry so nothing caught his eye, exseeeeept... golden orange crusts.

So Sebastian went to buy them for _his_young master. When he went there he saw the person selling it was a woman, Lavender Jane-Orange-Crust-Seller.

"Seriously?" Sebastian asked.

"All it costs is one **Ciel** kiss, just one." She said.

"Not only no but HELL NO!" Sebastian said taking Ciel back into the carriage (He still got golden orange crusts though :D)

* * *

><p>AN: OMG I'M SOOOO SRY I HAVN'T UPDATED MUCH! I've been busy!

You see, I REEALLY misslead you there, didn't I? You see, over these chapters I have grown an attachment to Lavender Jane Rose. I mean she's kind of like that puppy that was meant to be ugly but turned out cute.

I know a lot of people may hate me for that but I still kinda like her (o^u^o)

So R&R, Love ya!

Alsoooo... Still so sorry It's taken me this long I mean it usually doesn't take this long but this one took a long time.

I do hate it when you have to wait FOREVER for something like a new chapter or something to come out and it feels like forever (even though this one DID take forever) and you're like "WHEN WILL IT COME OUT!"

But! When it does come out, it feels very special.

Still hope you enjoyed.

PEACE!~


	8. That MarySue, Is too good

A/N: So sorry this took me so long just school and stuff. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Ciel and Sebastian walked down the street, Ciel exspected to at least get a conversation with some one, but no one was there. Not a single person.<p>

"Do you have any ideas why no one is here?" Ciel asked Sebastian.

"Not a clue, My young lord." Sebastian said. Soon they approached a cluster of people. They heard whispers of praise for her beauty.

"Excuse me mam," Ciel said to a woman of an elder age, "Do you know what is going on here?"

"The new princess is here." The woman said. Soon after a woman wearing a pink dress with white lace on the edges. It had roses and blue tulips. Her hair was a beautiful shade of pink, and was short. She held her dress up as she stepped out of her carriage. She quickly flashed Ciel a look of distaste and looked back to were she was going. At the feeling of this Ciel felt majorly insulted and decided to take it up with this woman, of who he thought was very familiar.

Ciel chased her closely and in the process pushed people out of his way, "YOU!" He yelled.

"I have a name. Lavender Jane Rose please." She said with an even more distasteful look only this time it was a quite annoyed one too. As if flies were crawling on her leg, flying away, only to hop back on.

Ciel quickly gasped, "Oh god, Don't tell me you're here for me." Ciel said getting a bit cocky.

"OH GOD NO! I think I'm done with you." She said continuing her walk. Ciel felt insulting, to her he seemed like nothing more than a mere dish towel you use until you have no more you.

"So you just used me!" He yelled.

"Yes, that's what I was trying to do." Lavender said. Ciel got mad at her in a second and tried to punch her, although she dodged it at the last second.

"SEBASTIAN!" Ciel yelled. But by the time he got there she was gone, she was surprisingly fast, even in a dress.

* * *

><p>No matter how many hours passed Ciel got irratated at the fact she tried to use him like a rag.<p>

Ciel though for a long amount of time. He couldn't think anything. This made him even more mad. He paced around a bit, he needed an idea.

Could he ask Finnian?  
>No, Finnian was... Finnian.<p>

Bardroy?  
>No, he was tooo... violent.<p>

He couldn't ask Sebastian sooo...  
>PLUTO!<p>

He went up to Pluto, "What do I do?" He said brutally. That wasn't the best approach in most people's eyes, but that was just the way he was, "GOT IT!" Ciel said and then ran away.

* * *

><p>Ciel ran to a large building, it was a very famous on, similar to the Queen's castle. Ciel ran into a room to see Grell covered in blood. Next to him was the dead body of Lavender Jane Rose. Ciel puked, similar to when he saw his parents faces sowed together. Then later, he passed out.<p>

* * *

><p>AN: Once again, sry it took so long. Hope you enjoyed. Review and have fun :D


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